If you're reading this, you must really love me. I was hoping that miss Bella would still have her weekly confessions link-up running, but I didn't see it. I have some confessions to make.. and some people reading this will not be happy because I've not been honest about what I'm about to say. I love you, I do.. I just needed to do my own soul searching and I didn't want yelling and judgment from my best friends to affect my decisions.
I mentioned on Twitter about a text I received, from someone that most of my lovely friends (blog & non-blog) despise. And the reason you all hate him is because of what my posts consisted of, which for the most part was true. Lies can really hurt a person, or like one of my all time classic favorite movies quotes:
"Omissions are betrayal" - Little Black Book
Yes..he hid quite a large characteristic about his life from me. I would have never thought I'd be in this position to say that I'm still madly head over heels in love with a married man. There was a time within the past couple of months that divorce was in the works, but sometimes realizing your family is soon to become considered a "broken home" the kids become the priority. I understand that, but it doesn't take away the pain.
I have heard horror stories about couples who attempt marriage counseling and remain together for the sake of their children, and my biggest concern is that he will be miserable for the rest of his life. Does that make it okay for what he's done to me? No. But forgiveness is a powerful tool, and I can't hate someone who loves their children.
She knows about me, I've messaged her and she knows where I stand. He will fall apart, and I hate to say it, but I will be there for him when he does. I can't stop the feelings I have for him. I can't stop wanting to support him in every decision he makes. I can't stop the ideation that he will show up at my door one day and be even more vulnerable than the day he told me the truth.
I don't expect anyone to understand my thought process, nor do I want to force anyone into thinking they should accept him like I have. But I would like for my friends to trust that I am an adult, and I'm making these decisions for myself and no one else. I'm not waiting for him, I'm waiting for me. I am choosing to love him, even though most of the time I feel like I have no choice because I can't control it at this point.
Everyone I love, hates him. This is my life right now. My family means so much to me, and knowing that they hate him..actually despise him, hurts me the most. Not the fact that he left me to work things out with his wife, not the fact that I cry at night because I can't call him, not the fact that I'm not the number one priority in his life. The most pain comes from my family's perspective of him and that if he comes back to me, that will be the toughest battle to face.
So yeah. In the midst of stupid grad school, my emotional roller coaster has flown off the tracks. I've been dying to write. I actually have been writing on music in my spare time (5 mins between papers). No full songs just yet, but it helps fill the void I have from not blogging. I love and miss you all <3
Gimme Love
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Fall Swapportunity!!
I totes got the best partner in the Fall Swap =) My Blog BF, Krista and I were chosen (at complete random) to be partners in this fun event!! You should be jealous! This has brought so much excitement to my crazy life, and I'm even more excited to see what the Winter/Christmas swap will be like!!
I had planned on stuffing her gift with cute tissue paper, but didn't get to. Love the way she made the boring postal box look adorbs!
Here's everything =) Window clings! An adorable halloween sign that I'm waiting to hang up on October 1st! A cute coozie for my sodas..or other cold beverages ;)
And some Essie polish!!!
If you know me, I love love love nail polish, so I immediately put it on when I grabbed it from the box! Please excuse my lack of nail artistry, but I'd say I did a good job ;) The color is called "smokin' hot" and it's sooooo pretty in person!
Oh I almost forgot about the Reese's cups! Which are snuggled in the freezer right now just waiting to be opened!
I failed to include a card in the box I gave Krista, but I'll make sure to include it next time!
I LOVE any type of card, and I didn't even have to tell her that! She actually included 2 cards, but I forgot to take a pic of the other one ;)
This was sooo much fun, and it's not over yet! We're going to be swapping gifts for each season and I am STOKED! :) It's so much fun shopping for these items as well as receiving them!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Follow Your Arrow
Not to complain any further about my grad school struggles, but it's my blog.. I do what I want!
So, because I need a quick procrastination tool, I am back on Tinder as well as POF because Tinder has a much slower response rate compared to POF. Also there are more laughs from POF that seem to brighten my day.
Unfortunately, this one dude on POF decided it would be a smart idea to insult my career path. Really? That's the route you've chosen to .. impress me? Or maybe you're just a jerk face. Just because your ignorant in what a social worker actually does and how much it really affects your career path of being a teacher, doesn't give you the right to just assume that I'm "handcuffed by the law into being able to do so little.."
His choice of words kept sending me over the edge, but it's possible that I interpreted it as a little more insulting than it really was. I'm super stressed out! I think I went into grad school with too much confidence, honestly. I thought hey, I did well in undergrad, I'm sure I'll be just fine!
Boy was I wrong! I was fully aware of not having a life when I began school, never did I think I would have a hard time breathing! I don't know how some people work full time while in this program. It's absolutely impossible for me to breathe when I'm only working part time!! Just so y'all can get an idea as to why I'm MIA from my blog here's my schedule:
I am planning a meeting with this sweet guy I've mentioned a few posts ago, 3 whole weeks from now because it's on my fall break and it's the next free day (that I know of) and because he works on weekends (as do I) the weekdays are best for him to meet. So hopefully that will go through. Then I've got the original Ginger Beard chatting with me, I'm now his #1 on BFF on snapchat.. not sure where the heck that's going. Also.. there's GB#2, he's annoying the crap out of me but sometimes he's the only one that will respond.
There's a new dude in play.. yeah I know I know what you're thinking..what the crap Ellie?! You're complaining about not having time, yet you can keep up with all these dudes?
It's ridiculous, I know this, but it's fine.. So new dude.. nickname: Walker
He lives on a farm with many many horses and TN Walker is a horse breed, so yeah Walker it is. This dude seems interesting. He's currently taking classes at the same college I am but our schedules are totally different. Not too much conversation has happened because last week was a bad homework week.
This post is getting too long.
Stay tuned for my Fall Swap Post! Hopefully either tomorrow or Thursday I'll be able to get it up! :)
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Unfortunately, this one dude on POF decided it would be a smart idea to insult my career path. Really? That's the route you've chosen to .. impress me? Or maybe you're just a jerk face. Just because your ignorant in what a social worker actually does and how much it really affects your career path of being a teacher, doesn't give you the right to just assume that I'm "handcuffed by the law into being able to do so little.."
His choice of words kept sending me over the edge, but it's possible that I interpreted it as a little more insulting than it really was. I'm super stressed out! I think I went into grad school with too much confidence, honestly. I thought hey, I did well in undergrad, I'm sure I'll be just fine!
Boy was I wrong! I was fully aware of not having a life when I began school, never did I think I would have a hard time breathing! I don't know how some people work full time while in this program. It's absolutely impossible for me to breathe when I'm only working part time!! Just so y'all can get an idea as to why I'm MIA from my blog here's my schedule:
Monday:
Internship 8:00am-1:00pm
Class 1:30pm-7:00pm
Homework 7:00-?
Tuesday:
Campus Job 8:00am-12:00pm
Class 1:00pm-7:00pm
Homework 7:00-?
Wednesday:
Campus Job 8:00am-12:00pm
Internship meeting 12:00pm-2:00pm
Work 4:30pm-11:00pm
Thursday:
Internship 8:00am-4:30pm
Work(sometimes) 5:00pm-11:00pm
Friday:
Internship 8:00am-4:30pm
Work 5:00pm-11:00pm
Homework is due by 11:59pm in 3 classes
Saturday:
Work varies usually 6-8 hour shift
Sunday:
Work 2:30pm-8:00pm
Paper due by 11:59pm each week
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And I know that everyone else is struggling and having issues as much as I am, but why are they so calm!?
No one is freaking out as much as I have been!
I am planning a meeting with this sweet guy I've mentioned a few posts ago, 3 whole weeks from now because it's on my fall break and it's the next free day (that I know of) and because he works on weekends (as do I) the weekdays are best for him to meet. So hopefully that will go through. Then I've got the original Ginger Beard chatting with me, I'm now his #1 on BFF on snapchat.. not sure where the heck that's going. Also.. there's GB#2, he's annoying the crap out of me but sometimes he's the only one that will respond.
There's a new dude in play.. yeah I know I know what you're thinking..what the crap Ellie?! You're complaining about not having time, yet you can keep up with all these dudes?
It's ridiculous, I know this, but it's fine.. So new dude.. nickname: Walker
He lives on a farm with many many horses and TN Walker is a horse breed, so yeah Walker it is. This dude seems interesting. He's currently taking classes at the same college I am but our schedules are totally different. Not too much conversation has happened because last week was a bad homework week.
This post is getting too long.
Stay tuned for my Fall Swap Post! Hopefully either tomorrow or Thursday I'll be able to get it up! :)
Friday, September 12, 2014
Help Me Help You!
Beginning in middle school, I don't know why, but my friends would come to me for relationship advice. NO CLUE as to why they chose the loser who only had one boyfriend in 7th grade then the next one came along towards the end of my senior year of high school... but they did! All through high school people would ask me what they should do..
I still am a resource for many of my friends, I guess maybe that's part of why this blog is centered around my dating experiences.
I was thinking... maybe if there are enough to participate.. Every Friday, making it like a Q&A day. I would read emails throughout the week of your questions, and I'll post my opinion/answer to it on Fridays. I would keep it anonymous! Unless you leave me a little note saying, I can mention your name. Otherwise, I will just state the question/scenario to be analyzed and then I'll respond! What do you all think?
Please comment and let me know if you think this is a good/bad idea. It won't hurt my feelings if you really think it's a bad idea. I'm still averaging 40-50 page views A DAY! How? I have no clue because I've been a terrible blogger since school started. I love ya'll so much :)
I still am a resource for many of my friends, I guess maybe that's part of why this blog is centered around my dating experiences.
I was thinking... maybe if there are enough to participate.. Every Friday, making it like a Q&A day. I would read emails throughout the week of your questions, and I'll post my opinion/answer to it on Fridays. I would keep it anonymous! Unless you leave me a little note saying, I can mention your name. Otherwise, I will just state the question/scenario to be analyzed and then I'll respond! What do you all think?
Here's what IIIII think about it.
1. It'll help me to blog more
2. We can build better relationships
3. It will be so much fun!
Please comment and let me know if you think this is a good/bad idea. It won't hurt my feelings if you really think it's a bad idea. I'm still averaging 40-50 page views A DAY! How? I have no clue because I've been a terrible blogger since school started. I love ya'll so much :)
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Priorities
Excuse the recycled post that I hope Nina from The Grand Adventures of Me doesn't mind me reusing :) I figured with the chaos of my schedule and school and my schedule and school and so on and so forth... that maybe I should start scheduling posts! I'm going to try to do more of this at least :)
So here is my post titled Priorities:
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, and so I called him at home, and he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”
-Drew Barrymore in He’s Just Not That Into You
Can I get an amen?!
When you're using online dating as a way to meet a significant other, you've gotta have your priorities in line.
I personally suggest that you have yourself figured out before you start figuring out your perfect guy.
So here is my post titled Priorities:
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-Drew Barrymore in He’s Just Not That Into You
Can I get an amen?!
When you're using online dating as a way to meet a significant other, you've gotta have your priorities in line.
I personally suggest that you have yourself figured out before you start figuring out your perfect guy.
Does he love Jesus?
Is marriage something he wants? If yes, how soon?
Will he be a hopeless romantic by providing that romance you desire?
Does he work in a satisfying career?
Does he value his family?
Was his home-life as a child difficult or easy?
Is he passionate towards something meaningful?
These are all great questions to consider, but you've got to answer same questions for yourself!
Are you in a good relationship with Jesus and will you be able to share that with your date?
Do you want to eventually get married? If yes, when?
Is romance important to you? Do you request every door to be opened and flowers on occasion?
Do you work in a satisfying career or are you doing something (going to school) in order to eventually work in that career?
Do you value your family, and do you want the other person to value theirs?
Was your home-life difficult as a child? If so, would you need some counseling?
Are you passionate towards anything? Would you feel comfortable telling others about it?
We put this HUGE responsibility on the men to hold up their end of the deal, when sometimes we don't even know much about ourselves! Before you begin online dating, or dating in general... make sure you know a general idea of what you want out of the relationship.
What's most important to you?
Maybe you feel like romance isn't necessarily important compared to family values.
And let's face it, we change our minds as much as we change our underwear (hopefully) and your priorities may change from time to time.
One thing that you should have developed by the age of 20 would be the number one priority. If your number one priority changes multiple times, you may have issues. You've got to have something to build a foundation on. Personally, mine is Jesus. Although, I have from time to time strayed and made bad decisions, He always lets me back.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
How I feel
For years and years I have wanted to hear certain words said to me..but not from my momma, my daddy, my family members, or my best friends, but from a man I loved and cared for. I have heard these words from boys I thought I had cared for and was infatuated with. But now it's different.
Recently, even in the chaos, I have felt beautiful. Not because someone told me so. I have been confident in myself that I am beautiful. I know that there is a God who loves me more than I could ever imagine. Even the fake love that made me happy in the recent past, couldn't compare to the feeling I get when I pray. I know He is there for me.
I also am so overwhelmed with the love of my friends and family. Even though there is still much anger and frustration, I have had the biggest support system!! Even from you lovers! I am BARELY making time to type this, and you are still here for me. I can't get over how close I've come to you all :) It makes me super happy!!
But I am talking to someone ..again. I'm sure you're thinking, my goodness does she ever give herself any time? The answer is no, I don't.
The guy I'm chatting with is actually a guy I was getting to know shortly beforeSamoa douchebag, and I actually had told this current dude that I didn't want to lead him on because I saw that things with douchebag were getting "serious" and he totally understood. So when he saw me back on POF (yes I downloaded it back)He messaged me to ask if I was ok. That was his first question. He asked me about what happened with the guy I was seeing and I gave him a brief description.. didn't explain it all..that'd be too much.
My momma, she told me don't worry about your size <3
This is my jam!!!
Love ya'll always!! I promise I'll try to get on here more, but right now it's really hard :(
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Recently, even in the chaos, I have felt beautiful. Not because someone told me so. I have been confident in myself that I am beautiful. I know that there is a God who loves me more than I could ever imagine. Even the fake love that made me happy in the recent past, couldn't compare to the feeling I get when I pray. I know He is there for me.
I also am so overwhelmed with the love of my friends and family. Even though there is still much anger and frustration, I have had the biggest support system!! Even from you lovers! I am BARELY making time to type this, and you are still here for me. I can't get over how close I've come to you all :) It makes me super happy!!
But I am talking to someone ..again. I'm sure you're thinking, my goodness does she ever give herself any time? The answer is no, I don't.
The guy I'm chatting with is actually a guy I was getting to know shortly before
My momma, she told me don't worry about your size <3
This is my jam!!!
Love ya'll always!! I promise I'll try to get on here more, but right now it's really hard :(
Monday, August 25, 2014
Grad Student Love
What do you do when you aren't attracted to the dudes in your class?
You download Tinder back onto your phone in hopes to find someone to keep your mind distracted from being so bored.
By the way, when you're in grad school with only 13 other people in your program, you have every class with the SAME 13 people. Not much selection anyway. 2 old dudes and 2 dorks that I would never find myself interested in.. lame. The rest are women, of course.
I'm excited about working with these people, but as far as finding my future soulmate, not happening through my classes.
However, I have a scholarship position on campus & the Grad Assistant in the office is quite my type. I'm not sure what his situation is, I only got to see him for about 30 minutes during orientation.
Ginger Beard is back..uhm yay. He's so weird. I actually have 2 active ginger beards. The original GB and I met up for a few minutes just to chat while I was in town last week. I was at the mall (where he works) while he was working and we were going to get lunch, but he couldn't take his break for another hour and I was starving. I wait for no one. We've been texting on and off every other day or so since.. nothing exciting at alllll!
The other GB, is actually a guy I talked to for a while last year and reallllyyy started to fall for him. He was the perfect type of guy I was looking for at the time (before I applied to go back to school or even thought about going back). He just so happened to send me a picture on snapchat TWO DAYS after the Samoa incident. HOW DOES HE KNOW!? They have like single-telepathy. They find out when their past interests end a relationship without any logical reason! He doesn't have access to any of my social media, yet he decides to contact me ..on that day?! How in the world? But he has his own story that needs it's own post. I don't have a nickname for him yet..I'll think of one soon and write a post :)
So that's my life right now. The $100 giveaway closed, and I think the winner will be announced tomorrow. I have missed this blog and my bloggy friends sooo much. I promise now that I've got my new laptop.. I will be sooo much better :) I see a lot of procrastination coming soon which means.. more blogging!!
Love you all!!!
You download Tinder back onto your phone in hopes to find someone to keep your mind distracted from being so bored.
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| Hey, a girl can dream right? |
By the way, when you're in grad school with only 13 other people in your program, you have every class with the SAME 13 people. Not much selection anyway. 2 old dudes and 2 dorks that I would never find myself interested in.. lame. The rest are women, of course.
I'm excited about working with these people, but as far as finding my future soulmate, not happening through my classes.
However, I have a scholarship position on campus & the Grad Assistant in the office is quite my type. I'm not sure what his situation is, I only got to see him for about 30 minutes during orientation.
Ginger Beard is back..uhm yay. He's so weird. I actually have 2 active ginger beards. The original GB and I met up for a few minutes just to chat while I was in town last week. I was at the mall (where he works) while he was working and we were going to get lunch, but he couldn't take his break for another hour and I was starving. I wait for no one. We've been texting on and off every other day or so since.. nothing exciting at alllll!
The other GB, is actually a guy I talked to for a while last year and reallllyyy started to fall for him. He was the perfect type of guy I was looking for at the time (before I applied to go back to school or even thought about going back). He just so happened to send me a picture on snapchat TWO DAYS after the Samoa incident. HOW DOES HE KNOW!? They have like single-telepathy. They find out when their past interests end a relationship without any logical reason! He doesn't have access to any of my social media, yet he decides to contact me ..on that day?! How in the world? But he has his own story that needs it's own post. I don't have a nickname for him yet..I'll think of one soon and write a post :)
So that's my life right now. The $100 giveaway closed, and I think the winner will be announced tomorrow. I have missed this blog and my bloggy friends sooo much. I promise now that I've got my new laptop.. I will be sooo much better :) I see a lot of procrastination coming soon which means.. more blogging!!
Love you all!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Third Thursday// v.3
I think the best way to laugh is by remembering these horrible dates... yes, plural, as in more than one.
I honestly need to laugh right now, and this link-up arrived just in time this month!
I would love to hear some of your bad date stories! Link up with us!!
I would love to hear some of your bad date stories! Link up with us!!
This one time a guy I had met through Christian Mingle said that he had a special talent. He said that he could sing, and other people tell him alllll the time that he was so good and needed to try out for American Idol or something. He then proceeded to show me his YouTube channel. I really wish I didn't have to be so confidential, because I would TOTALLY link his "music" videos. He.was.horrible.
The video he sent me was of him singing "Strangely Dim" by Francesca Battistelli. Why this song? I have no idea. So, I felt terrible for the guy and I agreed to let him take me out to dinner one day. He drove about 3 hours and took me to dinner. It was okay, but I totally wasn't feeling it.
I felt comfortable enough to have him come watch a Redbox movie at my apt (no worries my brother was there so we weren't alone). Then after the movie he tells me that he is too tired to drive home and asks if he can stay the night...wtf really?
I made him sleep in his car. I was not letting someone stay overnight INSIDE my apt. Are you insane?! You don't just invite yourself to stay the night. So the next morning he had to knock on my apt door to ask me to go to breakfast. Morning breath was HORRIBLE and after breakfast he tried to kiss me. No thanks...buh bye. Be on your merry way!
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Kelly's Birthday Giveaway!
Morning loves! This girl is going to be celebrating her 27th birthday on Sunday so I've teamed up with some pretty amazing ladies to bring you guys a cash giveaway in honor of her big day!!!
Special thanks to all the lovely ladies below for helping Kelly put this together!
This giveaway goes through Friday night with a winner being announced on Monday!
Hopefully one of you lovers will win that $100 smackers!!
Love you all! I'll have a legit post up hopefully sometime this week!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Destroyed
Just a warning, this post contains heavy cursing.
I'm sick and tired of being treated like a piece of shit. I have been lied to every single time I've been in a relationship. But, I've never been hurt like this before. I've participated in a couple posts concerning "Being a Side Chick" well now I can officially say, I was one for the past 2 months.
He met my entire fucking family. He made my parents fall in love with him. He made ME fall in love with him. He lied to me about EVERYTHING. I was ready to support him and be there for him no matter what. Then, the truth came out this weekend.
I hate him.
He's married & has 2 children.. I knew about the children but he had told me that the mother of those children died in a car wreck... Lie.
His current wife, who is still very much alive and breathing, is the mother of those children. Found this bit of information last night, thanks to good ole Facebook.
I told him I never want to hear from him or see him again. If he shows up on my porch I will call the cops. He said he understood and I hung up the phone.
This wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't involved my family. He should have told me ALL of this before I took him to a veryyyy personal part of me.
My uncle found a video. This is what brought it all up. MY UNCLE!! Now my whole family knows. The video explained how he's a loving father and husband, blah blah bullshit.
I have way too much shit in my life to worry about dating, or worry about his sorry ass. Yes, I am hurt, my heart has ached all weekend long and I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'll probably end up buying some benadryl or something to help me sleep because I need it this week. School starts in just 2 weeks, I need to rest.
I have a lot of the typical questions running around in my head, but I know that I need to just ignore them and move on. Stop dwelling on it. It happened and it was all a lie. I'm done. Fuck you Samoa.
I'm sick and tired of being treated like a piece of shit. I have been lied to every single time I've been in a relationship. But, I've never been hurt like this before. I've participated in a couple posts concerning "Being a Side Chick" well now I can officially say, I was one for the past 2 months.
He met my entire fucking family. He made my parents fall in love with him. He made ME fall in love with him. He lied to me about EVERYTHING. I was ready to support him and be there for him no matter what. Then, the truth came out this weekend.
I hate him.
He's married & has 2 children.. I knew about the children but he had told me that the mother of those children died in a car wreck... Lie.
His current wife, who is still very much alive and breathing, is the mother of those children. Found this bit of information last night, thanks to good ole Facebook.
I told him I never want to hear from him or see him again. If he shows up on my porch I will call the cops. He said he understood and I hung up the phone.
This wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't involved my family. He should have told me ALL of this before I took him to a veryyyy personal part of me.
My uncle found a video. This is what brought it all up. MY UNCLE!! Now my whole family knows. The video explained how he's a loving father and husband, blah blah bullshit.
Here's what I plan on doing:
Moving on.
I have way too much shit in my life to worry about dating, or worry about his sorry ass. Yes, I am hurt, my heart has ached all weekend long and I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'll probably end up buying some benadryl or something to help me sleep because I need it this week. School starts in just 2 weeks, I need to rest.
I have a lot of the typical questions running around in my head, but I know that I need to just ignore them and move on. Stop dwelling on it. It happened and it was all a lie. I'm done. Fuck you Samoa.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
My Lovers, My Friends
In the month of July, I had my very first paid Sponsors. I must say, even with my chaotic brain, it was such a great experience!! I can't wait for more people to help me out by also becoming my friend :)
If you're a regular around here, you probably have already met or read about my BBF Krista <3 This girl and I have become the BEST of friends. We talk so much. Even though we are SO far away from each other, we talk as though we're neighbors. When I saw that she was my very very very first sponsor, I was jumping for joy! So glad to have a good friend like her to support my love of blogging.
So here's a little bit about Kristie's Blue Jeans:
Lifestyle Blog
Single & Dating
Writes about the truth (which I LOVE)
Has quite a bit of humor in her posts that bring me to laugh out loud
Flaunts them cowboy boots <3
Lives in SoCal
Having her as my first sponsor, we have built an even stronger relationship, and I'm loving it!! She was patient with me as I was learning the ropes about sponsorships and worked very well with deadlines and keeping me on my toes!
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My next sponsor in line is Miss Paulina :) She is also a BBF of mine! We've been developing a great friendship over the past couple of months. I had the fabulous opportunity to be one of her sponsors a couple months ago. Let me tell you something!! If you want to find a good promoter to be a sponsor for, this girl is who you need to go to!! She will work very hard to promote your blog. She'll help you update older posts, create images, and just help you learn about blogging in general! She really knows her stuff!!
Here's a little bit about Color Me Brave:
Topics Galore
Single & Dating
Little bit of lifestyle, blog tips, puppy faces, and fashion
She's really talented when it comes to Social Media
Occasional motivation posts concerning her weight loss journey
Palmer (her dog) is absolutely adorable!!
Like I mentioned with Krista, having Paulina as a sponsor has created a stronger relationship. We are now admins together on a Facebook Group called Blog Life Chose Me. If you'd like to join message me or Paulina and we'll add ya to the group!!
I just want to say thank you SOO much for being my very first sponsors, ladies!! I look forward to more and more friendship-building in the future!! <3
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Hormones!
So this weekend was packed full of emotions: happy, sad, excited, worried, confused, etc.
Yeah.. ^^ that's about right!
Samoa met the family and it went soooo perfectly fantastic. I am extremely exhausted because I didn't get home til after 1am and I'm at work now..exhausted. I was just told some really important people are coming and my office is a WRECK. Mostly b/c I'm leaving my job in less than 2 WEEKS!?!?! Omygosh I can't believe it. Sooo there's that.. gotta clean in a minute.
After the family meeting ended I had a freaking breakdown on the drive home. I'm freaking out about all of this. It's not supposed to be this easy, something has to be wrong.. I shouldn't be freaking out so much.
I think my main reason for freaking out is that it's really close to time for AuntFlo to make her visit.. And just in time too because I have a GIVEAWAY!!! (a giveaway that is just for us ladies)
The PMS Cure giveaway. We all struggle with our lady problems, well Miss Nina from "The Grand Adventures of Me" came up with this AMAZING idea to get a PMS Cure together by suggestions of other bloggers! Make sure to sign up.
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| The Grand Adventures of Me/ Kristie's Blue Jeans/ Endliss Bliss/ Looking for Love Online |
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Life Update & What's Ahead
So I had about 2 paragraphs of a post written out then I just wasn't feeling it so I deleted it and started over. Instead of an informative/list post, I'm just going to talk about my upcoming weekend because it sure is going to be a chaotic/emotional one.
Wedding:
Friday at the rehearsal dinner, I'm in charge of organizing the way people walk down the aisle on Saturday. The bride (my cousin) has graciously given me the exact detail of how it will go so really I don't have a lot of responsibility as far as organizing, more like just instructing and telling people when to walk. Seems simple!
Funeral:
A member of the community passed away unexpectedly this week. To say he was just a member of the community would be a complete lie. This man inspired so many people in ways that are unbelievably true. My family was extremely close to this man, worked hand in hand with him. The outpouring love for him is allllll over Facebook. You may see a trending hashtag show up of a name that doesn't sound like a celebrity.
After the rehearsal I'll be attending the visitation of friends. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. The first day I heard about his passing, I couldn't accept it. It wasn't til today that I began to cry and mourn over his loss. One thing that really was an influence on my life initiated by him, was a choir I had participated in for a couple of years around high school days. Members from the past years have been asked to participate Saturday at the funeral in singing a recent choir song. I've had it on repeat all day.
This is going to be a really hard time for myself and other family members, church members, community members, youth, adults, and children that knew him and were blessed to work with him.
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Saturday will be filled with the funeral in the morning and wedding activities the rest of the day. Decorating, doing the opposite of a rain dance, and taking pictures are part of my agenda on Saturday. Also, being little miss bossy (that I'm soooo good at) during the wedding to make sure everyone walks at the proper time.
When the wedding is over, Mr. Samoa will be meeting the rest of my gigantic family :) Everyone is excited!! He is, I am, my family is...it's just going to be a great Sunday.
I'm struggling on whether or not I should attend church this Sunday. After the emotional drainage from the funeral.. I just don't think I could handle it. Also, with Samoa being with me.. I don't know if he'd be able to handle ME during church crying like a baby the whole time. What would be the point of my attendance if I'm mourning over the loss of someone instead of listening to the message?
Another struggle I'm having is trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to wear to the wedding. AHHHHH. I have this one maxi dress that's really slimming from WALMART!! Yes.. this dress is from wally-world :) I love it, except for the fact that it reveals my least favorite body part: my arms. Ugh..the struggle is real. So there's that option. It's an outside wedding so I'm trying to figure out what to wear that won't cause me to become drenched in sweat.
Technically instead of the typical weekend recap that is done on Mondays.. this is a weekend preview.. In hopes that everything goes well and as planned.. I guess you'll find out Monday how everything went ;)
Thanks for sticking around!!
Wedding:
Friday at the rehearsal dinner, I'm in charge of organizing the way people walk down the aisle on Saturday. The bride (my cousin) has graciously given me the exact detail of how it will go so really I don't have a lot of responsibility as far as organizing, more like just instructing and telling people when to walk. Seems simple!
Funeral:
A member of the community passed away unexpectedly this week. To say he was just a member of the community would be a complete lie. This man inspired so many people in ways that are unbelievably true. My family was extremely close to this man, worked hand in hand with him. The outpouring love for him is allllll over Facebook. You may see a trending hashtag show up of a name that doesn't sound like a celebrity.
After the rehearsal I'll be attending the visitation of friends. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. The first day I heard about his passing, I couldn't accept it. It wasn't til today that I began to cry and mourn over his loss. One thing that really was an influence on my life initiated by him, was a choir I had participated in for a couple of years around high school days. Members from the past years have been asked to participate Saturday at the funeral in singing a recent choir song. I've had it on repeat all day.
This is going to be a really hard time for myself and other family members, church members, community members, youth, adults, and children that knew him and were blessed to work with him.
---
Saturday will be filled with the funeral in the morning and wedding activities the rest of the day. Decorating, doing the opposite of a rain dance, and taking pictures are part of my agenda on Saturday. Also, being little miss bossy (that I'm soooo good at) during the wedding to make sure everyone walks at the proper time.
When the wedding is over, Mr. Samoa will be meeting the rest of my gigantic family :) Everyone is excited!! He is, I am, my family is...it's just going to be a great Sunday.
I'm struggling on whether or not I should attend church this Sunday. After the emotional drainage from the funeral.. I just don't think I could handle it. Also, with Samoa being with me.. I don't know if he'd be able to handle ME during church crying like a baby the whole time. What would be the point of my attendance if I'm mourning over the loss of someone instead of listening to the message?
Another struggle I'm having is trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to wear to the wedding. AHHHHH. I have this one maxi dress that's really slimming from WALMART!! Yes.. this dress is from wally-world :) I love it, except for the fact that it reveals my least favorite body part: my arms. Ugh..the struggle is real. So there's that option. It's an outside wedding so I'm trying to figure out what to wear that won't cause me to become drenched in sweat.
Technically instead of the typical weekend recap that is done on Mondays.. this is a weekend preview.. In hopes that everything goes well and as planned.. I guess you'll find out Monday how everything went ;)
Thanks for sticking around!!
Monday, July 28, 2014
Meet the Parents
First things first, let me fangirl all over the new button design!!
Love it! Check out Bella and Lisa then link up <3
Friday:
I was able to take off work to spend time with you know who!! I slept in and wasted about half the day away! I've not done that in YEARS. Samoa and I went hiking on a really tough trail to my second favorite waterfall, Laurel Falls
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Sorry, not the best picture, but it's so pretty! We went swimming and the water was FREEEEZING, but we still had a great time :) What I tried to prove him was a tough trail, turned out to be super easy for him. Being a football player and an Army Vet... obviously he knew what he could handle and it was worse than this hike. He was up the mountain in NO time, had to come back down and check on me a few times. I'm a slow hiker..so yeah..
After hiking we came back to the apt and he cooked me dinner :) Just spaghetti but it was just so sweet. He knew I was worn out from the hiking and he let me chill out on the couch for the rest of the evening while he cooked..and get this... CLEANED!! Ahh I freaking love it :)
We then went over to a really good friends house for a bonfire, s'mores, and some Just Dance on the Wii! Super fabulous day!!
Saturday:
This is where the title of this post ties in.. BIG day for Samoa and I.
I didn't intentionally want him to meet the parents so soon, but they were stopping by my place because I'm watching their dog while they go on vacation. My place is on the way to their destination, so it kinda worked out. We met them for breakfast off the interstate.. and everything went soooo well!! He clicked with them so easily, had my dad smiling (which is sometimes hard to do!) of course my mom was liking him as well. As we were walking to the table she looked at me and said, "He is SOO handsome!!"
Which.. he really is! Honestly.. the best looking guy I've ever been with and I don't see myself getting anyone more attractive everrr..nor do I want to.
Typically my dad's response to the dudes I introduce to them is something along the lines of:
& of course at first he was all big and tough, but afterwards.. he sent me a text saying he really liked him!!! I just wanna let ya'll know..my dad has NEVER EVER EVER done that. Not once. And I've introduced them to 3-4 guys that I was serious with. Of course my mom sent heart faced emojis all day talking about him, but I am still in shock that my dad said what he did!
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After the big meeting, Samoa and I were extremely lazy for most of the day. I've already learned what our lazy days will consist of from now on.. him playing video games while I pin away on Pinterest :) We've even developed a comfortable cuddle position where I lay against his side and he's able to use the controller. We were also able to keep conversation going as well, some of my pins initiated some good discussion.. May need to write a post about good convo starters..Pinterest is a great way to introduce that!
Seriously, that's all we did most of the day. However, we took a drive to pick up a set of patio furniture my friend gave to me..other than that.. back on the couch to be lazy!
Sunday:
We had every intention of getting up and going to church.. I promise we did! Had our clothes laid out and everything! We didn't wake up til 1:00 p.m. Only because the night before we stayed up til about 4am just talking about where this is going as well as some past information that was important to both of us.
He had to leave around 4:00.. sad times. There were about 3-4 tornadoes that hit less than a mile from my apartment beginning at 6pm lasting til 8pm. Thankfully, nothing was damaged at my place, but for other families.. houses were leveled. It's really sad.
WJHL.com
^^ Here's a link to the news video showing the tornado footage. This was extremely close to where I live.
Samoa made it back to his place in time to take shelter (about an hour from me) and now he's gotta pack his bags and travel about 5 hours for work this week.
WJHL.com
^^ Here's a link to the news video showing the tornado footage. This was extremely close to where I live.
Samoa made it back to his place in time to take shelter (about an hour from me) and now he's gotta pack his bags and travel about 5 hours for work this week.
We've been talking about planning a quick vacay before school starts for me and football starts for him. Hopefully we can get something planned out!!
That's my weekend! Can't wait to read about yours :)
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Being Healthy {not food related}
Recently, I've been analyzing my current situation with Samoa as well as comparing it to my past relationships. If you've kept up..you know that this is a normal thing for me to do...analyze..
So, what makes a relationship healthy? I can't help but compare what I have currently to what I've had in past relationships. Obviously, none of the ones in the past have been healthy..or at least good enough to last.
Naturally, I've made a list :)
1. Doesn't Hide Anything: If they're open and honest with you, hold on tight. If they're constantly hiding things from you (for instance their phone) then you may need to either start asking questions or hurry up and get out. I know that sometimes there are personal things that don't need to be explained in the early stages of a relationship, but if you're to the point of calling it a relationship, nothing should be hidden.
2. Sincerely Asks About Your Day: Your day is just as important as theirs. If they aren't a little curious as to how you spend your time when they aren't around, then they couldn't care less as to where the relationship is going.
3. Encourages Interactions with Family: Not everyone is family-oriented, but everyone has a family of some form or fashion. Even if their family isn't created by blood connections, they should want you to meet the people who've known them before they met you.
4. Space is Acceptable (& Encouraged): You both should support each others' friendships and be able to take breaks from each other when needed. Space can make a relationship stronger. By both understanding that friend time is important, you'll also add some extra respect.
5. Hobbies Aren't Looked Down Upon: Just because you have an interest that the other person doesn't share, doesn't mean that it isn't important. Even if they don't like to blog, they should still care about your love of blogging. Also, respecting when you feel like you need to dedicate some time to that specific hobby is important.
6. Wants Their Friends to Know You: Not just know that you two are together and what you look like, but they should want their friends to become your friends as well. If you're planning on making it for the long haul, the friends shouldn't go anywhere just because you've become a couple.
7. Trust isn't Questioned: You should both be able to trust each other without wondering if they're going to do something behind your back or betray you. If the thought comes up at all during the relationship, maybe question yourself before you jump to any conclusions. If trust is a frequent issue, maybe you do need to question the relationship.
These are what I have learned. In the past, I've not had healthy relationships. Here's to hoping that this one will continue to stay on the same path it's on now :) Hope this info has helped you!! Let me know what you would add to the list!
So, what makes a relationship healthy? I can't help but compare what I have currently to what I've had in past relationships. Obviously, none of the ones in the past have been healthy..or at least good enough to last.
Naturally, I've made a list :)
2. Sincerely Asks About Your Day: Your day is just as important as theirs. If they aren't a little curious as to how you spend your time when they aren't around, then they couldn't care less as to where the relationship is going.
3. Encourages Interactions with Family: Not everyone is family-oriented, but everyone has a family of some form or fashion. Even if their family isn't created by blood connections, they should want you to meet the people who've known them before they met you.
4. Space is Acceptable (& Encouraged): You both should support each others' friendships and be able to take breaks from each other when needed. Space can make a relationship stronger. By both understanding that friend time is important, you'll also add some extra respect.
5. Hobbies Aren't Looked Down Upon: Just because you have an interest that the other person doesn't share, doesn't mean that it isn't important. Even if they don't like to blog, they should still care about your love of blogging. Also, respecting when you feel like you need to dedicate some time to that specific hobby is important.
6. Wants Their Friends to Know You: Not just know that you two are together and what you look like, but they should want their friends to become your friends as well. If you're planning on making it for the long haul, the friends shouldn't go anywhere just because you've become a couple.
7. Trust isn't Questioned: You should both be able to trust each other without wondering if they're going to do something behind your back or betray you. If the thought comes up at all during the relationship, maybe question yourself before you jump to any conclusions. If trust is a frequent issue, maybe you do need to question the relationship.
These are what I have learned. In the past, I've not had healthy relationships. Here's to hoping that this one will continue to stay on the same path it's on now :) Hope this info has helped you!! Let me know what you would add to the list!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
I need an outlet
It's not supposed to happen like this
I'm so scared.
I can't stop, but do I want to?
Why force myself out of happiness?
He's motivated, encouraging, and all around beautiful
This one's different
I can't stop, and I definitely don't want to
Why does this feel so good?
All of the years I thought I had wasted
I'll never go back
I can't stop, full speed ahead
Why couldn't he have come along sooner?
Everything happens for a reason, I assume
I'm so extremely happy
I can't stop, not sure I ever will
What if I get hurt, or worse.. he does?
I'll never allow that to happen to us
He's mine all mine
I can't stop, not without a fight
Why do guys like him cease to exist?
As long as he's with me, I'll be here
In a state of pure happiness
I can't stop, and that's okay
Is this what love is supposed to feel like?
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I've not done this in a long time. I used to write poems all the time. For me, it's such a great outlet. I enjoy it thoroughly. I know it's mushy but, get over it.
I finally got to see Samoa last night! He came home a day early and my heart is soooo full right now. He keeps asking me questions that make me nervous as far as how I feel about him. I am freaking out right now. This is not how it's ever been. It's never been this easy. I am so used to having to impress a guy or go out of my way to show that I like him. With Samoa.. all I have to do is be my normal self without all the bells and whistles. I love it. I don't want it to stop.
So here's the thing.. If things get super serious (MONTHS maybe a YEAR) from now.. my blog will no longer be anonymous. I'll still be a blogger FOR SURE. And I'll still have dating tips, online dating stories, etc. This is part of our story, and I enjoy blogging so that's never going to end..I hope. But stay tuned because maybe just maybe one of these days..you'll get to see the real me :)
Love you all so much <3 Every read/comment means SO much to me.
I'm so scared.
I can't stop, but do I want to?
Why force myself out of happiness?
He's motivated, encouraging, and all around beautiful
This one's different
I can't stop, and I definitely don't want to
Why does this feel so good?
All of the years I thought I had wasted
I'll never go back
I can't stop, full speed ahead
Why couldn't he have come along sooner?
Everything happens for a reason, I assume
I'm so extremely happy
I can't stop, not sure I ever will
What if I get hurt, or worse.. he does?
I'll never allow that to happen to us
He's mine all mine
I can't stop, not without a fight
Why do guys like him cease to exist?
As long as he's with me, I'll be here
In a state of pure happiness
I can't stop, and that's okay
Is this what love is supposed to feel like?
--------------------------------------------
I've not done this in a long time. I used to write poems all the time. For me, it's such a great outlet. I enjoy it thoroughly. I know it's mushy but, get over it.
I finally got to see Samoa last night! He came home a day early and my heart is soooo full right now. He keeps asking me questions that make me nervous as far as how I feel about him. I am freaking out right now. This is not how it's ever been. It's never been this easy. I am so used to having to impress a guy or go out of my way to show that I like him. With Samoa.. all I have to do is be my normal self without all the bells and whistles. I love it. I don't want it to stop.
So here's the thing.. If things get super serious (MONTHS maybe a YEAR) from now.. my blog will no longer be anonymous. I'll still be a blogger FOR SURE. And I'll still have dating tips, online dating stories, etc. This is part of our story, and I enjoy blogging so that's never going to end..I hope. But stay tuned because maybe just maybe one of these days..you'll get to see the real me :)
Love you all so much <3 Every read/comment means SO much to me.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Get to know me :)
So I love this :) I saw the first two a long time ago, but I was new to the whole blog thing and wasn't sure how to edit it and stuff. Now I'm an expert ...totally kidding, but getting there.
Okay so it's the Blogmopolitan Quiz numba3 and you can grab it at TwoThirdsHazel.com or click this link
That was fun :) I want to see your quiz answers too!! :) If you're new around here, Samoa is a person..a particular person that I am dating and you can read more about him in last weeks posts..seriously there's like 3 mushy posts about him but hey..read if ya want ;)
Friday, July 18, 2014
A Mother's Advice
Hello Ellie's readers. I am super excited to be here.
If you don't know me already, I am Paulina and I blog over at Color Me Brave.
Don't know what Color Me Brave is? Let me give you a little run down.
I chose to start my own blog when I wanted to try and get out of my shell. I have always been an extremely shy person which kind of understates it. Imagine an 10 year old little blonde girl who is tall for her age. She is thirsty. However she has such a fear of talking to people she gets her 5 year old brother to go to the counter to order her a drink. That was me. As I grew older it didn't get any better. So, creating my blog to let the world know I have a voice and not afraid to use it. So what will you find on my blog? Building your online brand, growing your social media, and blogging tips. Then a little dash of my weight loss journey along with my addiction to clothes. So I am sure you are thinking what in the world am I posting on a dating blog? Well, that is because that is how this blog started. However I just quit online dating. Why? If you ever were online dating you know how much of a struggle it is. So I am taking a break from the dating world. That doesn't mean though, I could not jump out on a chance to help out Ellie. Even though I am taking a step aside in the dating world.
Doesn't mean my mother doesn't love to give me dating advice every single time she has the chance. So I thought why not share them with Ellie's readers.
Mother Dating Tip #1 Never date a pretty boy. Pretty boys are up to no good. Words straight out of my mothers mouth. She is convinced that every pretty boy will cheat. It could take awhile, even 33 years, but it will happen. She has a list of examples she reminds me of daily.
Mother Dating Tip #2 Marry a man who will eventually lose their hair. My mother says men that lose their hair are always honest and trust worthy. I kind of think this one is biased, why? If you've seen my Instagram feed, you will see my Dad is bald.
Mother Dating Tip #3 If you are not looking for anything serious. Date a guy who has a boat. Even more so if it's a sail boat. Sailing is an amazing experience. I don't know how my Dad puts up with him. It's who she dated before my Dad for the summer.
Mother Dating Tip #4 Never date a guy who doesn't love his Mother. If he doesn't love his Mother he has to be a serial killer. Yes, my Mother has told me this.
Mother Dating Tip #5 Never love a guy more than your Mother. Your Mother will always be the best, no man can change that fact.
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Paulina is a great sponsor as well as a great blogger to be a sponsor for!
Check out her blog by clicking the button below :)
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Third Thursday// v. 2
It's our second time hosting the Third Thursday link-up with Date Disaster stories!! Link up with us :) Stories can include embarrassing moments on your end or the other person's end. Or maybe you just have a really funny story that happened during a date! Laugh along with us :)
So last year, on family vacation, I wanted to see what type of response I could get on POF or Tinder. I tried my hardest to display my profile in a way that sent out the message that I did NOT want to hookup with anyone while I was in town, but I just wouldn't mind having a beach buddy while I was there. Just someone to hang out with, maybe drink a few, casual, friendly... So unrealistic. I had so many creepos wanting me to drive to their place to hookup..lame.
There was one guy who didn't mind meeting up with me a couple of days, but it was always close to sunset. We walked along the beach and chatted up for a while and he was sort of sweet in way. He wasn't necessarily my "type" but he was good company.
As we were turning around to walk back to the part of the beach I was staying at, he grabbed me and started kissing. Aggressively. Horrible, horrible, horrible kisser. Like what have you practiced with dude?!!? A tree??
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I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, you're the dummy who tried to meet a guy while on vacation with your FAMILY" Yeah okay I'm not that smart sometimes but hey.. it happens.
Shortly after the awkward silence that followed the tongue attack we walked back to the entrance where he was parked. We stood by his car and talked for a few more minutes and it was dark by now. He grabbed my hand and placed it on the no-no parts that I mentioned I was not looking for in my profile..
One pissed off girl made a dude almost pee his pants. Looking back and remembering his face after the cursing session I had, brings me to tears of laughter. I had called him so many names and pervert was mentioned about 10 times. There was a rental house very close by and another guy came out to see if I was okay. He asked if that guy was bothering me and I said yes. Dude got in his car so fast, I almost didn't see him do it. Then he was OFF. Buh-Bye loser.
Even funnier, he sent me a snap chat a week later saying, "Where'd you go?"
He was blocked within a second.
Can't wait to read your Date Disaster stories!! :)
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Texting Tribulations
Hi everyone, I am back for round two of guest posting for the fabulous Miss Ellie! If you missed my first one last week, I am Krista over at Kristie’s Blue Jeans. I really hope you like my post and decide to head over to my neck of the woods and read some more, because frankly blog posts are so much fun to read and I am sure y’all would get a kick out of the shenanigans I get myself into.
Here is the thing- I don’t think relationships today are fizzling for lack of chemistry but more because of two lazy people. It is hard to keep a relationship going in the first place, but add in the stresses of work, technology and life in general and it makes it really hard out there for a couple. Especially when people preach about the “rules” of dating… I don’t think old school rules apply much anymore, but here is the thing- I think we really need to get away from consistently texting and start calling each other.
I know I am not the only girl out there to meet a guy, have things go great and then all of a sudden, BAM, things are going south faster than a fireman on a fire pole. And I am not talking about online dating, but dating in general. It is really hard out there for a girl. We have to find a good guy, one we are interested in, make sure he is interested in us, go through the awkward motions of meeting up, dating and possibly starting a “relationship’ AND we have to make sure it doesn't fizzle out.
Here is the thing- I don’t think relationships today are fizzling for lack of chemistry but more because of two lazy people. It is hard to keep a relationship going in the first place, but add in the stresses of work, technology and life in general and it makes it really hard out there for a couple. Especially when people preach about the “rules” of dating… I don’t think old school rules apply much anymore, but here is the thing- I think we really need to get away from consistently texting and start calling each other.
Don’t get me wrong- I text and I love the convenience of texting but I think there comes a point when phone calls start to become necessary to keep a relationship going. I mean you only get what you put in, so why not put in a few phone calls?
When do you think the right time to start calling over texting is?
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