Self control

I am trying my hardest not to text jerkface. I'm such an attention whore! Nobody is talking to me and I know it's late, but jerkface would always text me this late and I'm missing that attention. 

BUT I CANT 

I cannot text him

I can't do it! 

I am woman. 

I deserve way better than his jerkface. 

Why does my brain work this way? Why can't I just tell my brain, "hey we can't talk to him anymore he's been blocked and deleted so just forget about him" and POOF it automatically gets erased. Why is this impossible? 

I want to say so many things to him but if I did it would be absolutely pointless.

I'm supposed to drive 3 hours to meet mr "too good to be true" tomorrow but he stopped responding to my texts and phone calls around 6pm tonight. He was supposed to call me when he got off work so we could discuss the plan for tomorrow ...nada

If he bails on me I will be so depressed because I'm just about to give up. 

The only reason I'm still on plenty of fish is to check up on jerkface and see how often he's online. I know I'm a crazy stalker. But I'm a girl...can't help it.

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^^ how my brain is acting right now.

Maybe I just need to go to sleep. Sleep this craziness off. 

Sweet dreams <3