Friday, February 21, 2014

How do you do it?

A while back one of my friends, who also uses Plenty of Fish, asked me how I managed to go on so many different dates with different guys. This was of course 8-9 months ago before Taco Bell dude came along. I thought maybe I could share some tips on how to keep the conversations moving.

I was going out with at least 1 new guy each week, and I had so much fun meeting new people, and not going to lie...getting free meals. Dating these guys has also helped me become more picky, which I'm still not sure that's a positive thing.

So here's what ya gotta do.

1. Start off slow. Don't send massive paragraphs of information, keep it simple. Even if they ask you questions that require a big long explanation, maybe mention that your story would be better told in person or for another day.

2. Edit your Profile. If your "About Me" section is too short i.e. only putting "Just ask" change it. OR if this section is more than 2 paragraphs long, shorten it to 1-2 paragraphs, with 4-5 sentences each. Only include what you're looking for on that website. Then maybe at the bottom you can say "ask me anything" or something along the lines of that.

3. Learn the Basics. Job, hobbies, taste in music, kids, do they live on their own, types of foods they like, etc. Do not ask what their favorite color is. Dumbest question. We are not in 2nd grade, I don't give a damn about your favorite color and it's irrelevant to getting to know me.

4. Guard your Heart. If you went through a massive break up, whether recently or years ago, do not bring it up in the online conversations. Also, don't include information about how you deserve to be treated because your heart has been broken too many times. They don't want to hear it. It really makes you sound like a drama queen.

5. Subtle Hints. You have to almost spell it out for men that you want to go out on a date. They may ask you what kinds of food you like, or maybe you brought it up first. Mention your favorite restaurant (only one, keep it simple remember) and just say, "I've not been there in such a long time, but I would love to go soon." You might have been there yesterday, but this is how you get a date. Trust works!

6. Check your Pictures. On your profile and your Facebook! Guys stalk just as much as girls do. Are you tagged in a really bad picture that is just at a bad angle? Untag yourself. It will drive you crazy if you don't. They will find you. Also, if you're using Tinder, it makes it easier for guys to find you through Facebook because you might have some friends in common. Make sure your pictures aren't filtered to death. Include full-body pictures. DO NOT set your profile picture as a group picture.

7. Move on. Don't spend a bajillion conversations invested in one guy. If it's been over a week or two without any mention of meeting or going on a date, spend your time learning about someone else. Also, don't limit yourself to one guy at a time (online). I promise this doesn't make you a whore, unless you're sleeping with all of them. It's called dating. You aren't tied down to one particular person.

8. Be Yourself. This is a biggie. Don't make up stupid stories of an interesting life if it's not yours. If you  like to go home and watch Netflix all day, admit it. Because most guys would be more comfortable doing that any day compared to going out and spending a lot of money.

9. Be Confident. Sometimes, you'll have to be the one to start the conversation. I personally hate doing this, but it's necessary. Guys aren't like they used to be. A lot of them are shy and fear rejection, just like us girls. Hey, they're human, too.

10. Be Committed. No, I'm not saying get married...not that kind of commitment. I'm talking about limiting yourself to 1-2 dating sites. If you decide to try out a 3rd or 4th to see if there are cuter guys (guilty) make sure to delete your previous profile(s) because if guys are hopping around different sites and see you on each and every one, that looks desperate and kinda sad.

Share with your friends who are nervous about online dating. Maybe they just don't know where to start!

I'm Co-Hosting the link-up with Erica this weekend! Join in on the fun and link up with us for Sunday Funday!!

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