Monday, March 24, 2014

Single and Ready to Mingle// pt. 2

So as I was saying...I worked a lot of hours while I was a full-time student in college. I kept myself busy all of the time. I rarely went to my hometown (where he lived) to visit family because I just couldn't accept what was happening.

Eventually, I started to pick myself up and live my life to the fullest.
I was going to parties with my work friends (I used to turn the invites down when I was dating him.)
I was drinking (I was only allowed to drink alcoholic beverages when he was with me.)
I was meeting new people outside of work (this was NOT allowed.)
I was studying with classmates (also, not allowed.) 

I was living like a normal college student.

Then when I started dating again, I became super guarded and almost embarrassed as to what I had experienced. My criteria for who I date became extremely strict:

  • Cannot live with their parents
  • MUST have a job
  • Must know what it means to pay their own bills
I still have this criteria but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm as strict as I used to be about it.

So a few months go by, 8 or so. And I'm dating this guy that I really start to like, and I get a text message...from the ex.
I don't remember the exact words, but I DO remember him saying, "I forgive you for what happened" 
... really? How can I be so lucky that YOU forgave ME?

It was stupid and annoying, but I soon found out the reason he sent that: a couple days later he was ENGAGED to another woman. I guess he felt like he needed to get that off his chest so he could move on.


So I began to move on much quicker from there on out.

Here's where the introduction of online dating began!!
My spirituality and religion was the only thing keeping me alive. I had become highly involved in church, was part of a praise band in the Baptist Collegiate Ministry on campus, and I was determined to find a christian man to date. 

I've seen ALL the commercials with online dating options. 

Christian Mingle was my very first attempt at online dating.

At the time, I didn't possess a smart phone, so I just used to PC version. I liked it! Although, their free version is pretty limited. I purchased 3 months for less than $60. You might say, "Dang! That's expensive" It's really one of the cheapest sites that I found back then. Sites like eHarmony and Match are close to $40 PER MONTH! It's crazy!

I met a couple of potential boyfriends but it wasn't until the last week of my subscription that I met someone worthwhile.. at the time.

He had a job and lived on his own (well with roommates) and paid his own bills. Bearded and had tattoos. Seems legit! So we dated for a few months and really just fell head over heals for each other. 
Problem: we lived 4.5 hours apart
We both got to talking and decided that we should move in together. He worked at a grocery store at the time and I had a full time job that I couldn't leave. We agreed that him coming here would work out best. So here he comes. All is perfect, we're both happy. 
He's searching for jobs and having a bit of trouble finding something. He gets hired at a local factory and loves it. Well the factory suddenly decided to cut their newest employees so he only worked for about 2 months there. Job searching again... and waiting..and waiting... finally gets a job at a retail store. We needed a bigger apt, 2 bedroom, and something closer to work for me. So we apt shop and found something PERFECT. We move in, and things just aren't the same. A lot of it had to do with him not being able to pay a lot of bills because where he worked they weren't giving him very many hours AT ALL. 

I have always had a job. Since I was sixteen. I've worked. Even before sixteeen, I babysat. I knew that in order to make money, you have to make an effort. He gave up. Not only did he give up on working, he gave up on me. He didn't try hard enough. He was unhappy and wanted to go back home. 

I understand that not everyone is like me: Independent. 

I do not have to be 5 minutes away from my family. I actually prefer not to be. On certain occasions, yes I want to be with family. But I cannot let that hold me back from chasing my dreams. He was not like this. He wanted to be near his family, so he moved back home. I couldn't be with him. I cannot be with someone who doesn't make an effort. 

We were still in contact because we shared a cell phone bill and one day he randomly asks how I'm doing (and the dog) a couple months after he left. He asks if I've been dating anyone and I'm like, dude that's really none of your business, but no I'm not. Oh, well he is! Already! Oh and SHOCKER it's the girl you always texted while we were together and I trusted you thinking you two were "just friends".... bullshit. So yeah. There's where I figured out why he stopped giving an effort.


Let's see.. this Sunday (March 30) will officially be a year since that ended. We're getting closer to today, so bear with me! 

After dating that douchebag, I started rebounding and basically speed dating guys off of dating sites. Discovered different apps since I had upgraded to an iPhone since the last time I used a dating site. Tried to go back on Christian Mingle, but they didn't have a very good app at the time, and I didn't want to pay for anything.

Then my love for Plenty of Fish was discovered.

I LOVED this app (still do but had to delete it). SOOO Many things you can do FOR FREE! Like messaging, liking, flirting, viewing, etc. I HIGHLY recommend this app for singles that really don't want to pay for an app. So during the summertime, POF and I were best friends. 

Shortly after discovering Plenty of Fish, I discovered blogging! Immediately fell in love with both! So that's basically what brought me here. My past relationships in detail. You can read on by looking through my first few posts because where this post ends, the blog began. 

Thank you for reading :) 

This girl is definitely enjoying the single life! No one to report to, no one to argue with, and no one to depend upon but myself! I really like it this way. But if you know me, you'll also know that I love going on dates and meeting new people! :) So that's what I'll keep doing.


  1. I personally dont suggest online dating. but that's just from my experience of it 1.5 years that I dealt with it. Never again. and I have no need to now since I'm taken and have been for 3 mths but we didnt meet thru dating sites. we met thru mutual friends online and talked by phone first for several mths before meeting. I refuse to do dating sites at all. even christian mingle isnt so christian like. POF totally blows. all of them suck b/c the guys just want one thing and they can tell you anything and everything and if you're naive and all like i was at the time then you'll believe them. i now no when folks lie to me and well had caught several guys in a lie. and i dont suggest giving personal info to them like your cell or house number at all. Just pray bout it and God will send you someone. Ask your friends if they know someone that you can be set up with. dont do it online though. its dangerous and just not worth it.

  2. Well everyone experiences dating differently. I personally enjoy online dating, and I've actually met a few guys through online dating that aren't looking for just sex. But, they just weren't what I was looking for. Thanks for your opinion though! The problem with asking my friends is that most of them are single themselves so it makes things a little complicated. I know God will provide some day, but I can't just sit around and expect him to show up at my door lol. Thanks for stopping by!!

  3. if it didn't work out why keep trying Best of luck to you though. hope it goes well. Unlike things I've seen.