All the single..guys?

So before my official dating site hiatus, there were a couple of profiles I had stumbled upon that caught my attention. - and not necessarily in a positive way!

There are a couple of different options to choose from regarding your relationship status. Typically I thought everyone just clicks single, but there is more than one type of single of course. There is the single-never been married/ single-divorced/ & single-parent, but there is one option that always made me wonder:

Married.

I didn't understand why that would be even an option for a DATING site. Are people attracted to that? I know a lot of people use dating sites for sex and hookups, but really?! For married people?

Here is one example that totally grossed me out. (taken from a person's about me, so sorry about the grammar)

"my wife and me need some extra lovers to come out an play wit us and we could have lots of fun wit ya if you are interested. we like to mix things up and party a lot. if you want to hang with us we can make it happen ;)"

Idk about you, but cue gag reflex. Seriously just threw up in my mouth a bit. And I'm not judging a book by it's cover by no means, but the pictures made it even worse.

My friend is using some of the dating sites I've previously used, and she stumbled upon one that said Separated. So awesome! You aren't divorced, you're still married, no issues there....

I never understood separation. I mean if you need a break I can understand that, but you can date other people? I wouldn't want my significant other dating..if it's over..then get divorced. Don't hop on a dating site to find the reason to get divorced. Just do it.



Bottom line.. there are creepy people on these sites. But for some reason, it's sort of addicting. Meeting new people and having that small hope that one day you'll meet someone and be on that commercial talking about how you met each other online and now you're married with kids.

 Hopeless Romantic I guess...

Distance

Some of the guys that have either smiled, messaged, or favorited me have been forever away!!

Okay, so remember my post about meeting in person? Yeah. That plays a factor in whether I continue my conversation. How terribly wrong of me is it to want to meet you when you are literally about 15 hours away (driving) when you are sooooooo cute and have all of the necessary qualifications?!

It's very wrong.

You've seen Catfish. HELLO!? I am not going to talk to you and let you explain to me how perfect of a man you are, then contact Nev Schulman and say, "I'm so in love with him! Please help me meet him."
Get my one hour of fame on the show, then be publicly embarrassed because you are a 52 year old man who is unemployed and living in your mother's basement.

Okay, over exaggeration there, but come on.

 Also, don't give me the, "How about we just chat a bit and see where things go?"
Buddy I'll tell ya right now, things AREN'T going to get you nude pics, a fake relationship,or a mail-order-bride. Sorry to get your hopes up!


small rant for the day ;)

Social Hiatus

I think it's time for me to take a break from the dating site. But I still have plenty of stories to share from previous experiences.

Being stood up a total of 3 times in one weekend can really put a damper on your self-esteem and emotions. It's hard being a single lady with guys promising these fantastic dates and getting all excited about that free meal and movie, just to have your excitement torn apart by them not following through.

-long post ahead - my weekend in detail:

Friday night:
Date planned with a guy who I wasn't exactly excited about meeting, but he also knew that I was hesitant with him because he has 3 children, by 2 different mothers. . .I was straight up with him about the fact that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with this situation. He INSISTED that we go out on a date. He really really really wanted to meet me, or so I thought. Met at Texas Roadhouse at 7, I texted him told him I was there...

We both have the iPhone and his read receipts were on, so I knew with every message I sent him he read almost immediately after I sent them.
"I'm here"  - read at 7:02 p.m.
"Can't wait to see you!"  - read at 7:10 p.m.
"Let me know when you're close"  - read at 7:18 p.m.
"Everything okay?"  - read at 7:24 p.m.
- By 7:30 I realized he wasn't coming. So, I went home - and not going to lie - picked up some Mike's Cranberry Lemonade to take with me.

Saturday evening:
 Really really really really like this guy, but he wasn't available to hang out until really late because he was hanging out with some guy friends because his buddy is getting married next weekend. He knew I was stood up the night before, but good news - we did get to meet!
    I did something really dangerous and let him come see me at my apt, because I had been drinking (Mikes of course) and it wasn't the best idea to meet him somewhere at midnight. I had let my friend who lived close by know what was happening and had my call 911 text ready to go before he pulled in just in case! When he got there I was soooo happy to see him, he was just like his pictures and soooo adorable. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He gave me a hug and smelled good (PLUS!). So we sat on the couch and watched tv & talked for a couple hours, but he was kind of distant (as in 2 couch cushions away), so I wasn't sure if he was interested or not. So he decided it was time for him to leave because he had to be up at 8 a.m. to take his roommate (who doesn't have a car) to work, and we were nearing 4:30 a.m.
    Before he left, another hug :) and he said, "I'll get up with you tomorrow okay?" - cue the massive idiotic smile. So I go to bed thinking, YAY I get to see him tomorrow I'm so excited!

Sunday:
So I wake up pretty early considering I had only slept for about 5 hours. It's a GORGEOUS day so I take a shower go ahead and put makeup on because if he wakes up and wants to hang out- I wanna be ready to go! The sun is out and hitting my porch at the perfect angle so I put on a tank and short shorts and go lay out in the sun! Have a great romance novel in my hands and Pandora blaring :) 1:00 p.m. rolls around and I figure maybe he's awake now. I'll text him . . . "Good morning sunshine!" I wasn't expecting an immediate response so I just continue enjoying my day with the sun, a book, and my music. 2:30 p.m. arrives so I send him another text, "You should wake up ;) Just sayin..."
He sends one a little later sayin "I don't wanna :("
"Yeah you do! :)" - me
....nothing
So I go about my day, go to the grocery store, typical Sunday. Clean the apt up a bit. and I'm texting a guy friend who I decided to give a second chance after he stood me up a couple weeks ago.
(Back story- we went on about 3 dates and were getting really close, but kind of in the same situation as the douche from Friday night. 4th date planned he stood me up and kept reading my texts then claimed by 9 p.m. that he was just getting to his phone. )

  But he really wanted another chance so I gave him one. He wanted me to come see his new apartment (He lives about 30 mins away from me). I figured since the cutie from the night before wasn't going out of his way to see me, why not. So I agree to come see him. I know which exit to take but I hadn't gotten his address yet.
"Let me know when you're about to leave :) " - him
"Okay give me til about 5:00 p.m. and I'll be on my way!" - me
"Okay :)"  - him
"Alright I'm leaving! Gotta drop off a redbox then I'll be getting on the interstate! Text me your address" - me
I call him - no answer
"Hang on Landlord's here"  - him ( 5:05 p.m.)
"Oh okay, is everything alright?"
"Yeah she's looking at a water spot in the other room" - him
"Well what's your address?" - me

"I'm on the interstate, I don't know where to go!" - me

"Idk where to go?"  - me

- I call him again - no answer. . . again

"Your landlord has been there for over an hour now...really? On a Sunday? I'm not stupid." - me

"I'm going back now" - me
"We're waiting on maintenance to bring the wet vac thing to suck up the water in the room" - him

"I'm already on my way back home" - me
"Sorry" - him

"One simple text - is that too much to ask for?! This isn't going to work (his name) - good luck to you" - me
                           - read at 6:03 p.m.

no response. . . douche

So on my way back I text cutie from the night before (i'm not in a very good mood at this point but maybe he can change that)
"dinner?"

Haven't heard from him since..

It'd be nice to have someone actually follow through with what they say to you, ya know?

Anyway, I'm not going to get myself down any more about it. Just gotta take a break from the dating stuff for a bit, because all of this playing games and crap. It's no fun!

footnote:
Guys: follow through.

Mirror Image

I know we all would much rather show off pictures that are flattering. I am very guilty of it. 

It happens to the best of us. . .

But there is a distinct difference in being caught off guard while the camera flashes vs. when you put older pictures of yourself when you looked better than you currently do now.

So you aren't as skinny as you used to be. That's a bummer, but if you want to meet dates in public and you are basically an extra person added onto your profile pictures from the dating site- you're going to get a very odd reaction. 

Accept what you look like & embrace it. If you aren't happy with how you look now then do something about it.. instead of leading people to believe you look like you did 4 years & 100 pounds ago. 

--

(Let's back up)

Just had a guy send me some pics through text and he looked super cute and the whole time I was thinking why is this guy single?! He's adorable! Then I asked him to send me a really recent one....

He literally was about 100 pounds more than the pictures he'd been sending. I would have still messaged him back if that picture was on his profile..because he was still attractive. I like bigger guys. But the fact that he was faking it and showing off old pictures that's kinda like lying ..I think lol. 

What would have happened you ask? If we had met in person and he didn't text that recent pic? How would I react? 

To be honest I would be nice but I probably wouldn't talk to him again. Lying isn't cool. Even if you are just embarrassed or ashamed. . . Lying will never be okay. 

Be a man . . . please

Guys.. if you're going to meet up with a girl you've met online... buy her meal.

Just had a guy who said he was going to be close to where I work because of a doctor's appointment and asked if I would be able to meet up after he got done for lunch. (Apparently... my coworkers explained that 'meet up' is code for the date being 'Dutch' but if he says "let me take you to lunch/dinner" that means he's paying)

So far so good with the first impression, he was super cute and seemed like he was interested in me.

Waiter comes up to take our drink order and while I'm looking at the menu he asks, "Is this going to be together or separate?" And looks right at my 'date' and I'm not saying anything, because I ultimately think that's his decision...

My 'date' takes a second then finally answers, "Separate."

I took it as him not being interested in dating, OBVIOUSLY. . . but get this. He sends me a text afterwards and says, "I can't wait to see you again! :)"

REALLY!?!? You really think I'm going to go out with you again and pay for my own meal? No thanks. You  keep your vacation money that you bragged about. . . spending over 1,000 dollars that you've saved up for that you couldn't spare the 8.00 lunch I had. But I hope you have a wonderful time on vacation :)


Guys..listen up.. be a gentleman. I know it's not the 1950's anymore, but girls like to be treated in an old fashioned way. Open the dang door for her. Walk her to her flippin' car. Wipe your freaking face with a napkin while you eat your 16$ steak you're eating. And finally, pay for her meal. Your dating life would be so much more successful.


You're welcome.

So I met someone...

  I've met quite a few guys from the most recent dating site I've been using. It's available as an app on your smartphone called Plenty of Fish and for the most part it's free ( which i LOVE )

  There are a lot of locals on there, that I have found. Which is a lot better then the past sites I've used and actually paid for. Christian Mingle had so many people that were 3-4 hours away, and I just can't do that. I honestly don't have time for it!

  I 'met' a guy from the first attempt of online dating and of course he was literally 5 hours away! We never met in person until about a year and half after our first conversation online. Now I understand the meaning of physical chemistry between 2 people. This guy & I had developed this relationship and started to really care about each other ( & I still care for him ) but when we met, it just wasn't the same. We didn't click!

  It didn't necessarily have anything to do with looks either - I don't have to have someone who is super good looking/ nor do I have a 'type' that I am interested in. And he was adorable - just as his pictures and through Skype, but that's not what affected the connection.

  After this experience, I have now decided that I will not give anyone my entire life story like I have before. That 'in-person connection' is so important to me now. Pictures and messaging and phone calls can only do so much. Even Skype! I love Skype because you can make sure their pictures match their real face lol, but even with that face to face interaction - it's not the same!

Picture Etiquette

Here are some tips and tricks (for both men and women) to help when choosing the right pictures for online dating.

DO NOT put your profile picture as your senior yearbook picture from high school when you are 21 years old or older. Unless you're famous, no one cares!

Mustaches are not cool when you are younger than age 30, please shave. (but beards are in!)

Your dog is adorable, but I have no clue what you look like.


Save the Halloween costumes for Halloween.

Oh there is a cute girl in the picture with you? Awhhh you two look like such a cute couple!! ...NOT! DELETE!

That's wonderful that you have kids, and that you're proud to show them off - but don't include them in every single picture on your profile.. I'll meet your kids when it's appropriate.

source

Drunk pictures should be embarrassing for you..they aren't attractive.

Put your shirt back on.

Head-shots only? If you aren't famous, no one here cares about your modeling career.

Group photo as your profile picture? I know exactly which one you are by your screen name and age listed.

Smile at least once, with teeth - ..gotta make sure you have them all.

Cool car, where's your face?

Show off those tattoos, but include your face in them so we know it's you for sure.

So many mirror pics and selfies, you do have friends..right?

Duck Face....

source

Your hair is longer and fuller than mine...Jared Leto makes it sexy, yours just makes me hate you.

Peace signs went out around 7th grade..so stop.

Say goodbye to the Fedora - they were never popular.

TapOut Shirts are lame.

If you were a true gangsta, I highly doubt your boss would be okay with you posting pictures on a public site.

Danger Zone

So everyone is always threatened and afraid of meeting people online.
There are plenty of precautions to take before meeting someone that you've chatted with online.

1. Become a stalker

• Facebook- if you have an online dating profile, you should also have a Facebook profile. It's 2013. If you don't have one, red flag.
• Google Reverse Image Search - featured on Catfish the TV Show on MTV. If you type in the search engine 'Google Reverse Image Search' there is a step by step link to turn this tool on. 
• Snap Chat - Great way to get them to send you pictures of themselves at that specific time.

2. Meet in Public

• This should be obvious.
• No further explanation needed.

3. Emergency Escape Plan

• Make sure a friend in town knows exactly where you'll be, physical address is necessary .
• Discuss a code word (on my iphone i chose the emoji with the phone for please save me from this horrible date, then for emergencies there is a little red police siren).
• Don't go anywhere you aren't comfortable to go. It's really not hard to say NO. . .seriously we learned this in like 2nd grade.

4. Skype

• Again..no further explanation needed.

There are other ways to be careful and you can discover those and let me know how they've worked! Most importantly..meet in Public. You should be able to escape if you are in danger. 

Trust your gut on the first meeting. You should be able to feel in your gut if you are in a dangerous date or not.

That's all for now :)

Spiritual Awakening

My first dating site experience was through Christian Mingle. I'm sure you've seen the commercials! "Meet God's Match for You" with happy couples kissing and saying they got married...blah ...blah ...blah

Christian Mingle is just like any other dating site, let me tell ya!
There are creeeeeeeeepy people on there, well..the men that have contacted me have been creepy. I'm not sure what kinds of ladies are on there. But the main point is, it's a dating site. I mean, yeah, you MAY have a better chance running into a true Christian man who is looking for love just as you are, but let's get serious.

One guy I was texting from CM, sent me a picture of his 'you know what' without my request (of course!)... while I was sitting in a meeting... NEXT TO MY BOSS!!! Who does that? Really? I didn't ask for your junk to be on my phone. Fellas . . . let's get real. NO GIRL wants a picture of your penis. They all look the same okay? Gross.

One guy was messaging me and asked me if I wanted to know what his turn-ons were, naturally, I said, "No, that's no necessary." So the direction of the conversation changed and we continued messaging, but I was only giving short answers and just talking to give him someone to talk to so I didn't drop him and break the poor kid's heart. A couple days later he randomly messages me his turn-ons a couple days before our planned first meeting. He thought it would be necessary that I was aware he was turned on by "high heels, holey fish net stocking things, bright red lipstick, cute thongs, and short skirts."

• Me: I don't think I'm the girl for you, sorry good luck to you
• Him: Oh come on baby, maybe we just need to have this conversation at a later time ;)
• Me: No, I don't do any of that stuff, and I don't want someone to try and change who I am or what I decide I want to wear.
• Him: I'm not changing you just asking for you to help me become more attracted to you.
• Me: Okay, so you aren't attracted to me how I am now? I need to improve my looks? Is that what you're saying?
• Him: Don't take it that way!!
• Me: Bye!

Real winner there!!


Oh..AND I couldn't tell you how many 50+ year old men have sent me messages like:
"If only I were younger!"
"You are so beautiful, baby age ain't nothing but a number"
and many more. . .

This is just a few of what I experienced on Christian Mingle. I have met about 3 guys who I really have developed relationships with through Christian Mingle, but distance is always an issue. I'm not trying to trash talk this site, they have some good factors, but don't think just because it is faith-based that all the men on their will be Christian-like.


My rant for the day ;) peace out girl scout.

Random Friends Quote

"He may not be my soulmate, but hey, a girl's gotta eat!"

source

- Phoebe, after Chandler asked her why she was going on a second date with a guy if she believes he is destined for someone else.

This was so funny to me because, I too am guilty of going out to eat with someone that I know I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with - simply so someone can buy my dinner. I don't make much with my salary and living on your own isn't exactly cheap, so gotta jump at those opportunities when someone is offering to buy you a nice dinner!

The perks of meeting someone online is that they know you are also dating others too, that's the purpose of the website! And if a guy doesn't respect that then they are being hypocritical! Dating online isn't always an instant match as soon as you join, but hey if that's how it worked for you then that's wonderful.. I hate you.

You've gotta compare your options though, and see what all is out there for you. That's the fun part.

Intro

I have been meeting guys online through a couple different sights. Let me tell ya how interesting it has been! I have met a few very interesting people but just haven't found "the one" just yet!

 I have fun talking to guys I've never met because I am a girl- I like the attention! I am not a catfish, I am very truthful in all of my conversations and photos I post on my profiles. Unfortunately, I've met guys who aren't exactly cat fishing me but they aren't 100% truthful online as they are in person.

 I will be remaining anonymous so I don't call out any of the guys I've met through my dating because some of the things I will say may not exactly be nice. Everything will be a true statement of my own opinions. I'm excited to start this journey!


About me:
I am single
23 years old
I work and pay my own bills
I've been engaged
I've been abused
I've also been used
I'm completely honest all the time
I try to make others happy by being comical and producing laughter
I have a dog and a cat
And I love my family
More info will be revealed through random posts


Thanks for your interest :)


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